. . . when your heart begins to break. . .
I just. . . That's what I woke up to. I went to go check out something on Facebook, and instead found out that MCR split up. I just. . . I don't know how to feel. What to feel. I can't cry, but I can't push it out of my mind. . . There's just this hollow feeling inside. Like I just lost a dear friend. You go on Wikipedia; My Chemical Romance was
an American alternative rock band from New Jersey, formed in 2001. It's not like they died, but I still feel a hole like that in my heart.
MCR was my life back in the sixth grade; my friend's sister was into them and he introduced me to the band, and I instantly became hooked. I remember my first album was The Black Parade; it didn't come out too long before, and I was instantly hooked. I wanted every CD that they made until that point, and I wanted a new album to be released so badly. I would sit in my room and play The Black Parade on repeat for hours on end. I bought every shirt that I could afford to get at Hot Topic, and I even had them order me a little hoodie because they didn't have the right one in; I wear it almost every day.
Back in the day, I was going through my 'dark' phase that every kid goes through - black shirts, black nail polish [which I only acquired because of Halloween], black eyeshadow. . . I thought I was pretty bad-ass. I'd also found Fall Out Boy, Linkin Park, The Cure. . . I haven't listened to Linkin Park for years and nor would I like to, but I still have FOB and The Cure as two of my favorite bands. I didn't want to make friends, so instead I used music as comfort. In all honesty, I can't remember a friend from those years that I'm actually still friends with.
This time is well was when I started to pick up drawing as a hobby. I would use their songs as inspiration and draw to my heart's content on what I thought the lyrics meant. I'd listen to them all the time on my bus ride to and from school every day. I'd go online and print out pictures of them to draw, most of which turned out ungodly horribly. I'd read about them and dream of meeting them some day. My friend even offered to give me a ticket to see them in 2011, but someone else gave it away first.
MCR gave me a friend when I was to insecure to find my own.
MCR gave me a hobby that became my future career.
MCR gave me my style of clothing and music.
MCR gave me aspirations to shoot for the stars.
MCR gave me a reason to take guitar lessons.
MCR gave me hopes to go to concerts.
MCR gave me a purpose to move on.
MCR gave me my life.
I never told them for how them improved my life.
I never sent them a decent group fan art.
I never told them how inspirational their music was.
I never told them how much I enjoyed their quotes.
I never told my guitar teacher MCR was why
I was there.
I never got to see them in concert.
I never told anyone how they pulled me up when I was down.
I never thanked them.